Saturday, July 12, 2003


It's past 2 in the morning as I just got back to work after my little 'break'. I'm looking at a probable 3am closing time, and already I can feel the vodka coursing through my veins. Not good. Clare's blitz of 2 bottles of vodka within 1/2 hr is starting to look like a really bad idea. I went over to Isob@r to meet him with a mild case of food poisoning, and well, at least the throbbing in my head is slowly being numbed by the alcohol. Swallowing my own bile on the other hand is no easy feat.

Already I can feel my mental barriers breaking down to compesate for my foolish bravado. Hopefully I can recover in time to rejoin ze president as he continues on his quest for Sarah. Seems that she wants to go to SS, and guess who's gonna be joining her there. I'm starting to feel that I may need the room key though so I can pass out back at the hotel and let my body try to repair the damage that I did to myself this time. :) Either that or I rage. Cos I almost decided to cave in JoyJoy's head with the vodka bottle, just because.

I'm starting to lose a little of my motor responses, my typing is starting to screw up big time, and I'm trying my best to refrain from sending smses that never should be sent. I'm a Class 1 alcoholic, so why the hell can't I handle 'some' vodka? Hmm. Stop thinking Rom. And start acting.

Later peeps. If there is one. muahahahhahahahhahahahahhaha.*gets smashed over by another bottle of vodka*

The lie is my expense
The scope of my desire
The party blessed me with its future
And I protect it with fire
I am the Nina The Pinta The Santa Maria
The noose and the rapist
The fields overseer
The agents of orange
The priests of Hiroshima
The cost of my desire
Sleep now in the fire

Rage Against The Machine - Sleep Now In The Fire.

Friday, July 11, 2003

The Frozen Throne.

Cos I don't wanna be alone

Living life on my own

I don't want to live my life in isolation

Filled with empty decorations

Cos I want to be with people that I know

Who would do the things I do

Making all my dreams come true

I don't recognize the shadows at my door

Though I've seen them all before

Because the only thing I really want...

Is to be with you

Indecisive - Empty Decorations

T3 was a blast to watch; a laugh riot for me and Clarence as we let the carnage and mayhem wipe away the stress and pressure that's been plaguing us this past week. The movie's sublime theme is still there; that there we are all threads in the tapestry of life; that we are all instruments of fate just waiting to occur; everything that we do was actually meant to be, and that as much as we feel like we're in control of our lives, we are just being guided to our own fates, no matter how much we try to avoid it.

Coincidentally, she SMSed me to tell me that T3 was good. Seems that she decided to vap0r back to KL to clear her head; more like quiet time for us to access our situations. I'm not confused anymore though, being the firm believer of fate that I am. And with that I shall wait, for eventuality; for her. It's not about butterflies in my tummy, as Loyalheart asked. The ball is not in my court after all. And my confidence seems to grow by the day. Confidence in myself that is.

My hair is actually long enough for me to comb it. So I did something I haven't done for ages. I went to buy myself hair gel! Yes, I'm still going wtf. Now I really gotta start on losing my excess baggage. And no, it's not gonna be Fitness First for sure. Back to Gymway it is. :P I had a little ciggie break just now with one of the new regulars here, which I just found out is part of the same tong that I used to be part of way back in my young and dangerous days. Scary shit that now they know I still exist, and that they know where to find me too. Seems that they decided to go high tech, via computerized money lending among other things. :) It's now a good time to declare that I know jack shit about computers hur hur hur. Ok. Maybe not.

Days go by and still I think of you

Dirty Vegas - Days go by

Thursday, July 10, 2003


It's 1pm, ze president has arrived and already summoned me to Gurney Plaza. He plans to kick ass in the Hitz FM Takut Test. Mecha also has called me to call for a meeting at CB Island. I wasn't expecting ze president to arrive today, but at the rate things are going, the weekend is here, and it's gonna be one hell of a ride.

Tuesday, July 08, 2003


I seem to have fallen even deeper into my stupor now as I try my best to figure out which direction I should head. As usual, the path I choose would always be the hardest and the most painful for me, yet I do it. Why is that? Too many questions keep pouring out of my head, as my heart is able to feel again. Now I remember why it was always easier to just have AlmostAHeart. :P

I met up with Julia yesterday so we can discuss our interesting situations. She's in an online relationship that already seems doomed from the start, and I'm in a psuedo relationship which is more confusing than Ronaldinho's transfer destination. I guess it's all in my hands now, either to shatter what we have in hope that it will clarify things, or shatter what we have and fuck it all up. Looks like I already made my choice. The question is, when would I actually follow through with it, and what ramifications would it have upon me? Feelings suck.



I don't even comb my hair
When I wake up in the morning
I've always been like that
My clothes are on the floor
And I just don't have the time to put them back
Ladida da da
Ladida da da
Is this what you truly want for a girlfriend?
Or am I just someone you find pretty cute for a good time?
Don't go breaking my heart
I think very deeply and I hold very dearly from the start
So why do you still love me
I'm so useless in the kitchen
And my cuisine is lousy
It makes you want to curl
My toes are awfully huge
And I am not just the stuff that makes a girl
Ladida da da
Ladida da da
Is this what you truly want for a girlfriend?
Or am I just someone you find pretty cute for a good time?
Don't go breaking my heart
I think very deeply and I hold very dearly from the start
So why do you still love me?
Pardon me ... I'm quizzical
Pardon me but I'm quizzical
Pardon me ... I'm quizzical
I don't even call you baby
'Cause that's what I call my dog
It would have sounded funny and so strange
Don't expect me to be crawling over you
For maybe I am just a poor unromantic
Why do you still love me?
So why do you still love me?

Juliet the Orange - Quizzical.

Things get even more confusing everytime she sings that to me. :P

Sunday, July 06, 2003

Exit Stage Left.

It's not like you to say sorry
I was waiting on a different story
This time I'm mistaken
For handing you a heart worth breakin
And I've been wrong, I've been down
and to the bottom of every bottle
These five words in my head
Scream are we having fun yet?

Nickleback - How You Remind Me.

Are We Having Fun Yet?

Woah has it been that long since I last blogged? Real life has been catching up on me. That and the fact that my PC is being hogged by someone else these days. I'm confused. Still. Why do I submit myself to this for the past few weeks when I can just have things plain and simple. Life is boring without it's complications I suppose. Or am I that lonely after all? Considering that there's nothing officially between us, we still tend to act like there is. Why is that? I've been thinking too much again I guess. But then again, I'm also tired of the work needed to restore broken artifacts. Or something. I hate this. Or maybe I hate myself for being like this. I suppose patience is a virtue I have to cultivate. But then, crops will fail anyway regardless of the farmer's toil. So as Boon says, either I complicate things so much that it will all become clear, or I fuck it. Remind me to have lunch with Boon tomorrow then.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to make my bed out of the floor again.

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