Saturday, February 08, 2003


You know you're an idiot when you spit on your own foot.

Monday, February 03, 2003


What you gonna do

When it's time to recognise

Do you wanna get serious

When you're walking by my side

And the way is perilous

And you think you're better now

You think you're over it

I can see from the look on your face

You're a long way off

Pride it always comes

Before a fall

You see me

See me calling

I can fly

But I watch you falling


Don't fall

It's a long way down again

I can see your pretty face

Unaware embarassment

I'm falling down again

And I think I'm better now

And I think I'm over it

Can you see by the smile on my face?

I'm coming home

Pride it always comes

Before a fall

Kosheen - Pride.

My CNY plans somehow were utterly screwed up due to unforseen circumstances. Or maybe I did see it coming a mile away yet I just let it happen? Do I love pain and trauma, both physical and emotional that much? Or is it because my return to Penang hath left me too complacent with life? Here's a recap of the past few days.

CNY eve was utterly depressing considering the fact that I had one of my very very rare off days, and ended up going back to an empty home. Dinner alone at the mamak left me in a rather desolate state of mind. And the fact that there was very little signs on life didn't help much either. I WAS supposed to go to Lush that night though. But I ended up waiting for people, and by the time they decided to show up it was already too late to do anything. So I ended up finishing a bucket( or was it two) of beer all by myself. Whoopeedoo. Oh. And I didn't get to go to Ouch! either, so no lapdancers in the picture as well.

CNY Day One was ok, even though I was left without transport, or a handphone for much of the day/night. I managed to partake in the gambling session at Bitch's, but sadly I didn't get smashed. Day two was rather fux0red though, thanks to a woman in a Kancil that decided to turn right from the left lane. My bike escaped with minimal damage, though I still seem to be shaken up by the incident. Today was a disaster though.

Maxis was majorly fucked. So am I. My catching up session with Maymay went vap0r prolly due to the fact that it took me 1 hr to get 2 smses through, and my casual remark that she looked haggard ended up with her going ballistic and going "Cheers mate!" like wtf. And then I get smses from someone dear to me going ballistic on me, just because I didn't have the time to talk while attempting to close up the place. And I forgot to mention the guy who's supposed to pay me 5k tomorrow sms me " Err I don't have money." Sigh.

I feel the spiral again. But it's different this time. I know I can pull myself out of it, alone. But i'm sick of it all. I don't have time for myself, yet I am expected to give time to others. My utopia province is in shambles. My neopet Tomanski,as I understand is close to death. My bike is without the right side of it's features due to the fact that there isn't a bloody foreman open for business yet. I have missed countless "table sessions" due to my time spent at work. I seriously lack sleep. So if you feel left out, I'm sorry, but I wouldn't wish my FUCKED UP LIFE even upon my worse enemy. Now that's said and done, Gong Xi Fa Cai to all. And leave me alone to my demons.

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