For every beginning there is an end.

What would you do if you were given a gun and seven bullets, and told to give a name to each one of them? Who would you kill? Who would merit that much hate in you that you would be willing to just end their life without remorse? Try all I could last night, I could only come up with 2 names in my head that would make my most wanted list. How many do you have on yours?

You know it's a Monday, when one of the first few emotions you feel is basically having your nuts kicked in and being told that you deserve it. Yes people, once again, I FUCKED UP. To think that I would be used to this by now. Maybe I should just kill the optimism in me just so I don't have to crash everytime I try to crawl back out of this hellhole I'm in. One thing's for sure. Everyone makes mistakes. And you would pay for it for the rest of your life too.Fuck.

By today, I've lost 4 lights in my house. The toilet light, dining hall, as well as my 2 hall lights have ceased to function. Oh, and my ceiling fan too. I seriously suspect something wrong with the damn wiring. Maybe I should just go try and troubleshoot it myself, and hope that I get fried to a crisp in the process. At least it would be one fuck-up that wouldn't trouble me anymore. I guess if it is the wiring, then it would explain the light of doom in my room. It still wouldn't explain my teleporting pet cactus though.

I have a cactus on my balcony, and I stay in a 3 room apartment. Couple days back, after locking up my grill and walking to the lift, I noticed my cactus, pot and all, sitting outside in the corridor. I thought nothing of it, but decided to follow up on it the next day. Yup, it wasn't there on the balcony alright. And to be honest I'd rather not think about that at the moment. Hell. I'd rather not think about anything anymore.

I just wish I was stronger. Less gullible. To not fall so easily. But then it's just me. I'm impulsive. I've made mistakes. Heck, everyone has. So why does it feel that I'm the only one that's been made to pay for them? Look at me. I have my unborn daughter materializing so many times I've even gotten used to her. I go for job satisfaction over money, and I get backstabbed for it. I'm alienated by my own just because I'm a crossbreed. I've lost in love for so many reasons, most of them stated above. I'm tired. Sick and tired.

And it's just a fucking Monday.